By Lousia Devadson

Pride Month is approaching, and this presents a good time for those who are not in the rainbow community to reflect on their role as allies or support systems for their LGBTQIA+ friends, family, and co-workers.

An ally is defined as "one that is associated with another as a helper: a person or group that provides assistance and support in an ongoing effort, activity, or struggle".

As allies might have more privilege and tend to make up the majority – they can play a key role in helping, supporting, and advocating for minority communities. If engaged correctly, allies have space and the key to stimulate positive change.

There is no cookie-cutter way to be an ally. Rather than meeting a rigid set of prerequisites, allies should focus on how to develop certain habits and embody key qualities that inform being an ally.

They want to learn

The issues that face members of the LGBTQIA+ aren't typically part of the lived experiences of allies. What matters is allies are willing to do their research, to learn, to ask questions and be open to feedback.

Be mindful about the questions you ask – it isn't right to emotionally burden LGBQTIA+ people by making them relive traumatic moments in their life. Gut-check yourself to gauge that your questions are not offensive or invasive.

They recognise their barriers and their privileges

As an ally, you might have to reflect on where you stand in your journey; or internal and external conflict you might experience based on your cultural context or environment. Also, reflect on what privileges you have that you can leverage as an ally.

Allyship is about acknowledging unjust privilege that you have and working to end the structures that give you that privilege over others. Although privilege is intersectional, allies may have greater privileges (and can recognise these privileges), so their voices are powerful alongside marginalised voices.

They understand that 'support' comes in diverse ways

Support can be loud and public like holding up signs reading, "PROUD ALLY" at a Pride celebration. It can also mean showing your support in more intimate ways like the language we use, or the conversations we have.

The most important thing to be mindful of is following the lead of your LGBTQIA+ peers. You may often feel defensive for your LGBTQIA+ peers if they're under attack – be sure to not speak over them or occupy their right to speak up for themselves. Use your privilege and your voice to benefit the community – not bolster your ego. So, always check-in with LBGTQIA+ leaders and peers on how they can be supported, rather than assuming a role.

They let themselves be uncomfortable

It's highly likely that we'll make mistakes while learning to be better allies and becoming familiar with the LGBTQIA+ community – and that's human. "Allyship is more about the mistakes than the things that you do right. It's about how you deal with those mistakes and move forward," says human rights advocate Maybe Burke, who provides allyship training on behalf of the Transgender Training Institute. Just let people know that you are open and seeking guidance as well as feedback – and reflect on the things you learn and discover.

"Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start."—Jason Collins, first openly gay athlete in U.S. pro sports

In short, to be a true ally, we must keep listening to the LGBTQIA+ people around us, reflect on our journey and actions, be agile about reworking what we believe to be correct & become comfortable being uncomfortable.

It can be a unique and challenging journey becoming and remaining an ally, but certainly, one worth taking.