Not just ‘good for a girl’
By Kristin Perissinotto
I recently had one of those conversations that result in having a realisation that makes a profound impact on how you see the world. Even though feminism is somewhat ~mainstream~ in 2019, and most people will and do accept the basic definition of referring to the social, political, and economic equality between genders, there are still a pocket people who hold one critical misunderstanding: women don’t want to replace men, we want to be equally as respected for our contributions.
I also had another conversation about women in the workforce which was different to many others I have had previously. Many women who are at the top of their sector at work are assertive, decisive, and will not tolerate being disrespected, spoken over, or taken advantage of. This is, of course, absolutely fine, and women in the workplace should not accept any of those things. Neither should anyone of any gender. Lots of women at the top of their professional game embody all the attributes we respect in men. Give us a professional man who is decisive, assertive, confident, and doesn’t accept anything less than the utmost respect? Call HR and get him a pay rise! A promotion! A corner office! A woman who can emulate these traits has a good chance at gaining professional respect in the workplace (although she might also be called a bitch and have no friends).
So what can be deduced from this? Women can ‘make it’ in the workplace when they ‘act like a man’ (ie. embody the traits we respect in men). I have spoken to a handful of women who, after taking time off to have a child, have come back to the workplace and simply not accepted being treated differently to how they were before becoming pregnant. And this might be fine for some women. Many women report being thrilled to return to work after having a baby. But some aren’t. Some might not have a choice due to financial or other obligations, and some women don’t want to act like nothing is different, because something is. A first time mother returning to work will often be going through a myriad of feelings, including guilt, sadness, happiness, more guilt for feeling happy, and confusion, on top of countless hormonal and physical changes. All of which they must keep top secret lest a colleague or manager label them ‘emotional’, ‘unbalanced’ or ‘not ready to be back at work’.
Sport can be used as another example. Last year was the year we saw a surge in women’s sport. In Australia, we began paying real attention to women’s sport like the ALFW and WBBL teams. These athletes are at the top of their game, playing at a national level just like the men’s teams are, but are they getting paid even close to their male counterparts? Nope. Are they being televised on prime time TV? Of course not! They are still only women after all. I would bring your attention to the recent news story about AFLW player Tayla Harris, who recently unveiled a statue of herself at Federation Square (for the non-sports fans - this is a big deal). She placed third in a kicking contest, beating six male players. Pedestrian TV wrote an article with the headline: Tayla Harris Out-Kicks 6 Male AFL Players & Reminds Us That She’s Not Just Good For A Girl. Did I miss something? Can women only be good at something if they are better than x amount of men?
Demanding equality is not wanting to wipe men from the face of the earth. Demanding equality is not wishing to replace every man’s role with a woman. Demanding equality is not wanting to switch men and women’s stereotypical roles to the point where we expect every man to be a stay-at-home dad and every woman to be the sole family breadwinner. Equality is about every person being given an equal opportunity for a job, regardless of gender. It’s about giving equal respect to a man and a woman in a household when one works full time and the other is the primary caregiver for their children. Some women want to work full time, some want to run a business, some want to be full time mum, and some want (or need) to do a combination. Women want to be equally as respected for being a full time mum as their male partners are for being a full time worker. Women don’t want to replace men, they want to be equally as respected for their contributions, whether in the workplace or at home.
Women’s work still isn’t valued, whether it is in a home, or a workplace. To achieve equality, it needs to be. Women should not be forced to be someone they aren’t in order to hold an executive position. Women do not need to ‘beat’ their male counterparts to be successful. In order for gender equality to be achieved, this needs to be clear, and up to this point, it has not been.
For further reading:
Why women need wives, men need lives