By Miranda Park (she/her)

CW: sexism, misogyny, racism

Bachie fever is well and truly here, after yet another explosive season of Bachelor in Paradise (BIP) graced our screens. As always, BIP brought us loads of drama, painful looking sunburns, and Osher Gunsberg wearing full suits in 30+ degree heat. But questionable outfit choices aside (sorry Osh), here is a rundown of some of the most talked about moments of season three.

First, let’s discuss the absolute curveball that was Ciarran Stott and Timm Hanly’s downfall. Ciarran and Timm went from adored reality TV heartthrobs to Australia’s most despised duo in the space of four episodes. To watch these men fall so spectacularly from grace was truly a sight to behold, and there was only so much you could blame on “bad editing”. Bachie viewers were left scratching their heads wondering how on earth Ciarran and Timm’s public personas could have changed so drastically since their debut on Angie Kent’s season of The Bachelorette.

So what was their undoing? Perhaps it was the way Ciarran womanised his way through the whole show and seemed to respond only with self-pitying petulance whenever he was called out for his behaviour. Or maybe it was Timm’s sly comments at the Bula Banquet that transformed him from goofy larrikin to annoying sh*t stirrer. Or maybe it was the moment when another contestant, Matt, was dubbed a “snake” by Timm for dating Renee, a woman who happened to be Ciarran’s ex. All the while, Ciarran could be seen sulking in the background because Matt didn’t have the “respect” to ask for his permission. I mean, it makes total sense, right? Because Renee was no longer in a relationship with Ciarran and is, in fact, not his possession, but a single, independent adult…hang on…what? Excuse me, did we travel back 100 years to when women were considered the property of men? I must have missed the memo.

Timm used the “bro code” excuse as gleefully as a one would a free drinks card at a party with no bar tab. Matt, who was having none of that, stated that Ciarran was certainly no “bro” of his. And of course, the three settled their dispute in the most mature way possible – by having a near punch-on in front of the other contestants. I have never witnessed a more ridiculous parade of toxic masculinity on TV… well, I lie, I’ve watched Trump.  

But perhaps one good thing that came out of this whole debacle was that it sparked some important conversations on social media about men’s possessiveness over women, and the role reality TV plays in perpetuating sexist behaviour. Did these violent displays of male bravado and thinly veiled misogyny really deserve the substantial airtime they were given? Can the Bachelor franchise maintain its brand as a dating show when it focuses less time on blossoming romance and more on milking the f*ck out of disrespectful behaviour towards women for the sake of “entertainment” and high ratings?

Right about now, you might be wondering why I sat through all 13 episodes of BIP and even went to the effort of writing a whole blog post about it. Well, rest assured, because while the men were off throwing adult tantrums by the pool, it was the women who brought their A game.

Aside from the absolute ray of sunshine that is Brittney (aka Littney) Weldon, one person who stole viewer’s hearts was Mary Viturino. Being one of the only WOC in her season (and in the entire running of the show), it was exciting to see Mary given more than 5 minutes screen time and go on to become a leading lady in her own right. The Bachelor franchise has long been (rightfully) accused of heavily whitewashing its cast, while often portraying POC either as “villains” or using them solely for comedic purposes. So, it was fantastic to see Mary – whose storyline in her season of The Bachelor had about as much depth as a puddle – be shown as a multifaceted person who is equally adept at cultivating a strong relationship as she is at giving witty one liners.

But, while the producers seemed to redeem themselves with their portrayal of Mary, Niranga was subject to the same kind of indifference that most POC receive on the show. For the majority of his time in paradise, trying to spot Niranga on camera was like playing a game of Where’s Wally. Despite the ever-growing demand from viewers to see greater diversity on the show, Niranga’s invisibility on our screens reminded us of the tokenism and racial prejudice that continues to shroud the Bachie universe. However, it’s worth noting that, unlike WOC on The Bachelor, Niranga’s personality wasn’t aggressively edited by the producers to make him conform to some kind of racist stereotype – he just simply wasn’t there.

Such is the glaring sexism of these double standards, that Abbie Chatfield was villainised and slut shamed throughout her entire season of The Bachelor for being confident about her sexuality, while Ciarran walked into paradise this year wearing literally nothing but a bunch of grapes over his genitals, and was promoted as a good catch.

As one Twitter user put it, ‘So Ciarran can wander into a resort, clothes off, grapes covering his bits, but when I do it it’s all like “ma’am, please put some clothes on, get out of Coles, and return to isolation?”’

Perhaps the only upside to this blatant gendered hypocrisy is that it can set contestants up for failure or success in their season and still backfire. With Ciarran…well, we’ve already discussed what happened to Ciarran, but Abbie has used her experience on the Bachelor to become an advocate for feminism, body confidence, mental health awareness, and sex positivity. In short, she’s handled the aftermath of her bad Bachie edit like a boss. 

Another great thing to come out of this season of BIP was Renee’s ring toss. And boy, was that a highlight. There’s nothing quite so satisfying as seeing a woman purge herself of a bad relationship by throwing an $800 ring (intended for her cheating ex) into the sea, while her fellow contestant, Alisha, cheers her on. Not to mention the little victory dance they shared in their bungalow afterwards – iconic.

For a show which basically pits women against each other and profits off the drama, it was so refreshing to see Renee being supported so wholeheartedly by Alisha. There are probably a million other examples throughout Bachelor history of women supporting their fellow contestants, but I wager only a handful make the final cut. Imagine if we saw less footage of women trying to tear each other down in their pursuit of a man, and more of this kind of wholesome, positive content. Perhaps we would start to see a type of “reality” TV that actually reflects real friendships between women.

Stay tuned for more breakdowns of the latest Bachelor season, coming soon!