On and Off the Field - Are Romantic Relationships between Coaches and Athletes Unethical?
By Emily Rawle (she/her)
Content warning: discussions of domestic abuse, abuse of power
The world of sport is a tough one, and maintaining good relationships within their field can make or break a promising young athlete. Inherently, the athlete/coach dynamic is about one person having authority and influence over the other, much like how a boss would have over an employee, or a teacher over student.
The relationship between coaches and athletes is one that our culture nourishes and exposes everyone to from a young age. Often, the coach is far older than the athlete and may have been a previous generation of athlete themselves. The coach is taught to be someone who works for the good of others, for the love of a sport or craft. Maintaining a good relationship with a coach is also a fundamental part of an athlete's journey from recreational to professional, and eventually to champion.
However, if the relationship between a coach and athlete shifts towards the romantic or sexual, the uneven distribution of power puts the love for sport and dreams of success at risk.
Ethicacy is a factor that every athlete/coach relationship must consider before shifting their dynamic. They must weigh up the risks their connection will have on their other relationships, their reputations, and ability to continue their sport. But no matter how much consideration is taken at the start, the relationship is fundamentally unequal. A coach is a key figure in the performance of athletes. Athletes who have a good and trusting relationship with their coaches are more likely to perform better, feel more motivated to compete or perform, and is likely to have a better relationship with teammates, so that relationship shifting can put many aspects of their sporting careers at risk. (Frontiers, 2022).
Many coach/athlete relationships involve an older male coach with a younger female athlete. We understand that women who are consenting adults are allowed to make choices with their bodies and are allowed to sleep with any other consenting adult without judgement. However, there is a question of ethics when that romantic partner is someone in a position of authority over them, including in the realm of sports.
Concerns over inappropriate relations between coaches and athletes stem from the risk of the inherent power imbalance being abused. There are a lot of relationships between coaches and athletes that result in happy marriages and families, like in the case of Hungarian Olympic swimmer, Katinka Hosszú, who is known as the ‘Iron Lady’ for her stamina in the water, who is married to her coach, Shane Tusup (Bustle, 2016). But there are others that warn against the dynamic and show how negatively it can affect a female athlete's career. Although the relationship is not inherently predatory, it is a slippery slope.
Miesha Tate is an MMA/UFC competitor who rose to fame in the early 2000’s and had a relationship with MMA veteran and her head coach Bryan Caraway, who quickly became a polarising figure in the sport following his verbally threatening behaviour towards Tate’s rivals. Since Tate and Caraway ended their relationship in 2018, Tate has spoken out about the tense dynamic within the relationship. When asked about whether she would advise female fighters against forming relationships with their coaches, she responded:
‘It is, from my experience, generally problematic when a female fighter, especially younger, starts dating a coach. The more the age difference, the more they become, sort of, hooks in, claws deep, and they start to feel like they can rule your life. And that can happen even outside of fighting, but when you add that kind of dynamic to it as well, it can just be such an ugly situation.’ (MMA Fighting SM, 2021).
Even when the sport focuses on working as a team, there can still be inappropriate relations, and that can impact the morale, trust and performance of the entire team. A relationship between one athlete and the coach can foster an environment where both parties are judged heavily and could lead to accusations of favouritism. In early 2024, former Nebraska women’s basketball player Ashely Scoggin accused the head coach and athletic director of the team of ‘not taking appropriate action when Scoggin’s sexual relationship with an assistant coach became widely known.’
This occurred while she was interning with the athletic department in the summer of 2021, where the said assistant coach, named Chuck Love, took interest in her. The department was accused in the following lawsuit that there was no training or policy that prohibited staff members from having sexual relations with athletes. The apparent lack of safeguards Scoggin describes as ‘reckless’ and fostered a bullying environment when the relationship with eventually exposed by other athletes. ‘It’s a very troubling and serious subject of predatory coaches that pursue sexual relationships with student-athletes’, Scoggins attorney explained (ESPN, 2024).
There are many reasons why a romantic relationship between a coach and their athlete is unethical, some of which include:
The athlete's best interest lies with following what their coach says and adding a sexual or romantic layer could create an environment where one party fears denying their partner or potential consequences outside the romantic relationship.
In the case of career athletes, their relationship with the coach can impact their ability to work and to earn.
Creates situations where a coach could abuse their power and/or sexually exploit the athlete or keep them trapped in the relationship.
Can create division within a team, especially if there is reason to suspect that the coach is making decisions to favour their romantic partner.
The end of the relationship could have a ripple effect on individual careers and the morale of the entire team.
A bad break up can deter a promising athlete from continuing their sport.
A good way to prevent the formation of unethical relations is strong policy and enforcement of that policy, with protection for whistleblowers.
Leaders of sports governing bodies, educational institutions, and athletic programs should formulate, implement, and evaluate policies on sexual harassment and sexual relationships between coaches and athletes (WSF, 2016). Sports bodies are encouraged to formulate written policy discouraging the pursuit of unprofessional relationships outside of sport between athletes and a coach.
It is also important to prevent a culture of silence forming within an organisation due to fear of retaliation towards whistleblowers. In the case of an athlete, this may mean fear of being ‘benched’ or otherwise professionally sabotaged. People are also unlikely to speak up if they don’t believe there will be change or out of loyalty to the offender. (BI, 2021).
Another way to prevent unethical relationships is to elevate the respect and representation of women in leadership positions within sporting associations. With women's sports growing in popularity, there has been a coinciding inequality of genders in positions of authority within women’s/mixed sports associations. Until 2016, the FIFA association had no women on its Executive Committee, however, in May 2024, FIFA reported that 83% of FIFA member associations had at least one female executive (UN Women AU, 2024).
Although many men become coaches with the sole intent of nurturing and supporting athletes, the prevalence of male coaches in women’s sports raises questions. All coaches should remain professional and should not instigate an intimate relationship with any athlete they are coaching.
In sports clubs, power balance and diversity among coaches, athletes, and staff can create a barrier to inappropriate relations. Institutional inequality can create a culture which exonerates inappropriate behaviour. If a coach feels able to flirt and become inappropriate with an athlete, it is a behaviour that is relying on the norm of acceptance. If it is kept secret, it suggests the coach is aware that the behaviour is unethical. (Respect@Work, N/A).
Ultimately, inappropriate behaviour towards female athletes is an issue that women's sport needs to be proactive on preventing, and it starts from within.
There are many ways that an individual athlete as well as a whole team can be impacted by the change in relationships between athletes and coaches. Inappropriate behaviour can be prevented by implementing a culture of diversity and respect and encouraging people to speak up when they see something inappropriate. In the end, even though athletes and coaches may both be consenting adults, a romantic relationship between them may not be illegal, it is still unethical if it is fostered in an environment of unequal power balance.
Sources:
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