By Elio Wilder (they/them)
I’ve noticed there’s only a handful of articles floating around the internet explaining lesbian slang, and most of them are quite outdated and lacking substance. This Pride Month, I wanted to help the baby gays by bringing you this edugaytional resource to help you learn the lingo of the queer community. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it is a decent overview. Lesbian slang intersects with a lot of the LGBTQIA+ community, so I’ll be delving into some of that as well. Some of these terms were popularised by, and are commonly used on, the internet, but many are used in spoken language too. I’ll also be including alternative spelling (in italics) used on platforms like tiktok to avoid homophobic censorship.
The term ‘dyke’ appears throughout this article. It has been used as a slur and is being reclaimed by the lesbian community. Only those identifying as lesbian should use terms that include this word. Some people believe that any queer woman can use this term in a reclamation context.
Lesbian
Women attracted exclusively to women, any non-man who is attracted exclusively to non-men, or anyone who identifies as a lesbian in good faith could use this label. This includes non-binary lesbians.
Le$bean, les*bee emoji*an
Alternative spelling to lesbian used to avoid censorship.
The ‘sunset’ lesbian flag was created in 2018 by Emily Gwen @diabolicdyke
Gae, geyy, g@y, ghey
Alternative spelling to gay, also used to avoid censorship.
Babygay, baby gay, baby dyke
Someone who has recently realised they are lesbian or has recently come out — new to the community.
Fruity
An adjective used to describe something or someone that is implied to be queer.
“Do you listen to girl in red?”
Euphemism used to subtly ask someone if they’re lesbian. References popular lesbian musician girl in red.
Alphabet mafia
LGBTQIA+ people and community. Alludes to the number of letters in the full acronym.
Sapphic
Women and non-binary people who are attracted to women. They may or may not be attracted to other genders as well, and may identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer etc. The term refers to Sappho, a 7th century BCE poet, who wrote about her attraction to women. Sapphic can also be used as an adjective, e.g. that outfit is really sapphic.
Trixic
Non-binary people who are attracted to women. They may also identify as lesbian.
Queer
A broad term that anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community can identify as, but not all choose to. The “Q” in LGBTQIA+ stands for queer (and also questioning). It is a non-specific, genderless term. Some people may use queer as their primary or secondary label, or not at all.
Str8
Alternative spelling of straight. People exclusively attracted to the opposite binary gender.
gaab, GAAB
Gender Assigned At Birth.
Refers to the gender a person was declared by a doctor at birth, usually based on their external anatomy. Can be male, female, or intersex.
Gender identity
The gender that an individual identifies as — their position on the gender spectrum. Gender identity, like sexual orientation, is not a choice.
Photo by MaddiesCreation on Unsplash
Gender expression
How someone outwardly expresses their gender. The main styles are masculine, feminine and androgynous (or a combination). Gender expression is a choice and can evolve with one’s personal style overtime. Gender expression may not align with binary stereotypes.
NB, nb, enby
Non-binary. Pronounced: en-bee.
Someone who identifies as neither man nor woman. They may consider themselves a combination of both, or separate from binary gender entirely. They may express any form of gender expression, not necessarily androgyny. They may use any pronouns. They may or may not change their name, use a method like binding or packing to alter appearance, or get gender re-affirming surgery.
Genderqueer
Though often used interchangeably with non-binary, many feel it has a different meaning. Not all people who identify as non-binary, identify as genderqueer and vice-versa. Someone who identifies as genderqueer does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions. They may identify as neither male nor female, a combination, or both.
Gender diverse
Used to describe people who are neither men nor women. Unlike non-binary and genderqueer, which may be used as noun identity labels, gender diverse is typically exclusively an adjective. Non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and agender people can all be described as gender diverse.
Demigirl
A non-binary person whose gender is partially, but not fully, a girl or a woman. They may feel that they also have another gender, or a lack of gender.
afab
Assigned Female At Birth. Pronounced: ay-fab.
Someone declared female at birth on the basis of external anatomy.
Afab non-binary people who are exclusively attracted to women (and possibly other enbys), may also identify as lesbian but may prefer less gendered terms like queer or gay.
amab
Assigned Male At Birth. Pronounced: ay-mab.
Someone declared male at birth on the basis of external anatomy.
Amab non-binary people who are exclusively attracted to women (and possibly other enbys), may also identify as lesbian but may prefer less gendered terms like queer or gay. It is more common for trans women to identify as lesbian than amab non-binary people.
Transgender
Umbrella term for anyone whose gender identity does not correspond to their gender assigned at birth. They may or may not feel dysmorphia and want to get gender-affirming surgery. Non-binary people are included under the “T” in LGBTQIA+.
MtF
Male-to-Female.
Amab who is transitioning (or has) to female. Possibly through legal, social, and/or medical means.
FtM
Female-to-Male.
Afab who is transitioning (or has) to male. Possibly through legal, social, and/or medical means.
wlw
Women Loving Women. Women who are attracted to other women.
nblw
Non-Binary Loving Women. Non-binary people who are attracted to women and vice-versa.
nblnb
Non-Binary Loving Non-Binary. Non-binary people who are attracted to other non-binary people.
Cishet, CisHet
Cisgendered heterosexual. Someone who identifies as their binary gender assigned at birth, and is exclusively attracted to the opposite binary gender.
Source: Unsplash
CompHet, comphet
Compulsory heterosexuality. The social and political institution created and perpetuated by patriarchal structures to maintain women’s total economic, emotional, and physical subservience to men by enforcing heterosexual relationships through legal and social sanctions. Homophobia is one of these sanctions designed to maintain compulsory heterosexuality.
Top
One who prefers to “give” during sex rather than “receive”. May be more dominating or play a more active role in a sexual encounter. Most top/bottom terms are also used amongst gay men, but may differ slightly in meaning.
Hard top
Exclusively “gives”, does not like to “receive”.
No-touch top
A hard top that doesn’t like to be touched.
Top Energy
Sometimes sapphics who have swagger, confidence or are more masculine presenting, may be described as having top energy. This is not an accurate predictor of someone’s sexual preference.
Bottom
One who prefers to “receive” during sex. May be more submissive.
Switch
One who changes between “giving” and “receiving”, often during a single sexual encounter. They can be both a top and a bottom, but may have a preference. Switch is sometimes used interchangeably with the word “vers” among gay men but less commonly used by lesbians.
Autostaddle 2018 Survey of Queer Women and Non-Binary People
Power Bottom
One who prefers to “receive” but provides instructions/directions to the top. May be more dominating.
Server Top
One who prefers to “give” but under the instruction/direction of the bottom. May be more submissive.
Pillow Princess
One who prefers to “receive” but doesn’t offer anything in return. Seen as an attractive quality to some lesbians and a deal-breaker to others.
Fem
Sapphics or trixics with feminine gender expression, or are feminine presenting in that moment. Someone may change their gender expression depending on the day.
High femme
Sapphics or trixics with highly feminine gender expression, or are highly feminine presenting in that moment.
Two people posing with their heads together at an LGBTQ+ event. Image: Unsplash
Lipstick lesbian
Similar to Femme and often used interchangeably.
Chapstick lesbian
In between masculine and feminine gender expression. May be androgenous or a combination of both.
Queer couple. Source: Unsplash
Stemme, Stem, futch
Derived from a combination of stud/fem and fem/butch. Also used to describe lesbians with androgenous, or a combination of feminine and masculine, gender expression.
Butch
Masculine presenting. Butches are not necessarily trying to “copy” men’s aesthetic and may still have typically feminine elements, like long hair.
Stud
A term coined by blak lesbians with masculine gender expression. It is sometimes used interchangeably with butch but some believe this term is exclusively for blak lesbians.
Soft Butch
Presents primarily as masculine but with some feminine traits. May also go by tomboy, stemme or chapstick.
Stone butch
Lesbians with highly masculine gender expression. They may also be a no-touch top.
Glamour butch
Lesbians who have masculine gender expression, which incorporates formal attire. e.g. suit and tie.
Gaybourhood
A place where queer people live and/or socialize and find community. Sydney’s gaybourhood is Kings Cross “The Cross”, specifically Oxford Street. Darlinghurst, Surrey Hills, Redfern, Newtown and Marrickville are also popular places for queer people to live and socialise.
Vagitarian
Humorous slang for lesbian.
Lesbian manicure
Nail art where either the index and middle finger OR the middle and ring finger are styled differently. Finger choice is personal preference. This may be on just the dominant hand or both hands. It may be that these fingers are the only ones painted or not painted, painted a different colour, or are the only nails the don’t have acrylics (so they’re shorter).
Lesbian lingerie
Expression commonly used by stem and butch lesbians to describe boxer briefs.
Dopplebanger
Someone who is dating another person who looks very similar. They may also dress similar.
Gold star
A gay person who has never had sex with someone of the other binary gender. Some object to the usage of this term as it devalues bisexual people or those who did not realise their sexuality until later. Thus, this term is mostly used jokingly by an individual referring to themselves and not directed at others.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Uhauling
When lesbians move in together after only a short time of dating.
BDE
Big dyke energy. A confident and often visibly gay lesbian.
Genderfluid
Identifies as not having a fixed gender— switching between two or more genders. This may be reflected in pronouns that change to match, gender neutral pronouns or changing gender expression.
Celesbian
A celebrity who is lesbian. Haley Kiyoko, Jodie Foster, Samira Wiley, Megan Rapinoe etc.
Dykon
Someone who is considered an icon to lesbians. They do not necessarily have to be lesbian. Xena (Warrior Princess), P!NK, Lady Gaga etc.
Drag king
A woman who dresses in masculine drag. The lesbian version of drag queen. Not all drag kings are lesbians and some are non-binary.
Queer-baiting
When queer-coded or implied themes, things or characters are inserted in media or art to attract the queer community without being outwardly LGBTQIA+. Celebrities and tv shows are often called out for profiting off queer culture without explicitly identifying as part of it.
Straight-washing
Removal or minimisation of queer people in culture and art. Can sometimes be seen in film adaptation of novels when queer characters are removed, given smaller plotlines, or not explicitly shown as queer.
Performative activism
When a person or business pretends to care about a social cause without actually participating in change. E.g. briefly attending a protest to get an Instagram photo then leaving without actually protesting.
Rainbow capitalism, rainbow washing, pink washing
Rainbow shopping bags. By E.Wilder via canva
When businesses and corporations profit off selling things like Pride merchandise without passing on proceeds to LGBTQIA+ organisations. Putting rainbows on everything, caring about nothing.
For the girls, gays and theys
Referring to anyone who isn’t a cis man. Often used as an empowering term, or to specify addressing a specific community.
*insert shoe here* lesbian
You’ve got the Vans lesbians, the Docs Lesbians, the Crocs Lesbians, and the Birkenstocks Lesbians. Just to name a few of the most common. These shoes are often associated with queer culture, fashion and history.
I hope you’ve found this not so comprehensive guide to lesbian slang useful to your edugaytion. Happy Pride Month to all Alphabet Mafia members and allies! Check back at the OWP blog throughout Pride Month for more quality queer content!
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Reference List:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sapphic
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2018/05/10/lesbian-slang-dictionary-the-big-queer-lingo-glossary/
https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/lesbian-slang-terms-definitions
https://shadesofnoir.org.uk/origin-of-the-stud-black-queer-history/
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stone%20Butch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml2tu-UFCTQ
https://www.autostraddle.com/tops-bottoms-switches-one-last-look-at-all-the-survey-data-424953/