By Miranda Park (she/her)
Love is probably the furthest thing from our minds right now.
It’s a daunting prospect to even begin to comprehend all that has happened since the outbreak of COVID-19. Many of us are still trying to digest the tidal wave of information that’s been churned out since the onset of this pandemic.
No matter if we’re at work, at the supermarket or at home scrolling through our social media, there seems to be nothing but hysteria and low morale. Not to mention how disheartening the public response has been in recent weeks. While everyone rallied together in support of those who experienced devastating losses during the summer bushfires, it often feels like this pandemic has brought out the very worst in us. From racist attitudes to toilet paper hoarding, the general mantra of this panicked country seems to be ‘every (wo)man for themselves’.
But amidst all the mayhem of frantic shoppers and apocalyptic sentiment, there have been many who have shown great acts of love and compassion for those around them. They have been the friends, family members, support workers and healthcare workers who have prioritised the care of others when everyone else has been preoccupied with self-care (not that self-care isn’t important!). Because it is overwhelmingly women who work in the healthcare industry and occupy primary caregiving roles, it’s clear that women are leading our support networks during this immensely challenging time.
So, I write this now in support of these women; The women who have treated patients all day only to come home and look after their families as well. The women who have had to cut back on work to stay home with their children, and the many more who will have to do this in the near future when schools close down. The women who have continued to check in on their parents (and even their partner’s parents) and have taken responsibility for looking after the elderly and those with disabilities. The women who have reached out to friends, relatives and co-workers to offer solidarity and support.
I read a delightful story about three elderly women who plan to move in together, in the event they have to self-isolate. Boasting a friendship that spans over forty years, these women are keeping each other company to combat loneliness, caring for each other at a time when they are feeling their most vulnerable.
Three women who have decided to move in together during this pandemic. Image: BBC Breakfast
I also look at my mum, who has gone out every other day to grocery shop for my grandparents, has run around in a frenzied vigour washing clothes and disinfecting the house once, then twice, then three times, and has rang elderly neighbours to make sure they have enough provisions, or just to have a chat.
For mum, COVID-19 has taken filial piety to new extremes.
For me, it’s a reminder of the incredible speed and determination with which women mobilise support mechanisms for those in need.
However, I’m also reminded that, particularly for women who are the primary caregivers of their household, their acts of love for their families very much represent acts of duty as well. Among many things, COVID-19 has amplified our dependency on women to carry out the unpaid (and often unrecognised) labour of care work. We speak about working from home as if women haven’t been doing that for centuries. The only difference is that they’ve never been paid for it. These past few weeks have been a salient reminder of how much we take for granted the invaluable work women do to ensure those around them are cared for.
So, if women are largely responsible for supporting others, who, in turn, is supporting them?
We are currently going through a period of rapid change and monumental shifts in the way we conduct our daily lives. With job insecurity and loss now rife, it is such an important time to reassess the way we distribute unpaid labour equally so that we can help lift the emotional and physical burden off women’s shoulders.
As always, take the time to check in on the women around you, offer them support in return and let them know they are loved.
Recommended Resources:
Farrant, G, Pesandom L & Nowacka K. “Unpaid Care Work: The missing link in the analysis of gender gaps in labour outcomes.” OECD Development Paper, 2014.
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