& the gendered implications of ‘doing self-care’
By Bridget Gibbs (she/they)
In a societal push to become more mindful have we actually just become more overwhelmed? Why does treating burnout with self-care leave us feeling more burnt-out? Are women the targets of self-care? When will we stop softly shouting: “REMEMBER TO DO YOUR SELF-CARE!” at one another over Instagram?
Personally, the thought of ‘doing self-care’ requires more mental exertion than I would care to admit. I have never been very good at sticking to routines; I find it difficult to relax; and I often find myself getting hyped up at the thought of a new activity that I know I will likely give up on a few days later. I have recently become hyper aware of activities and images labelled with ‘self-care’, ‘wellness’, and ‘mindfulness’, but what do these terms actually mean and who are they targeted at?
When trying to understand self-care better I found a somewhat intriguing selection of google images. One that stood out was an illustration of a woman sitting (naked?) amongst her plants whilst simultaneously pouring water over her own head. Is this metaphorically self-care? The term appears to have more meaning than simply taking care of ourselves or performing self-soothing activities. I consider it to include those activities and practices that help me to combat the things that cause me stress. This also includes things that I do not want to do, but will in the long-term be of benefit to me mentally, emotionally, or physically.
Many of us might feel inundated and exhausted at the thought of performing self-care activities, and making time for things that will supposedly benefit us might start to feel like a chore. For me, self-care is an important part of my recovery time after a day’s work, where I can psychologically detach from thoughts about work. Our recovery time, which can include self-care time, can also help us to prepare for the next work day and can have a positive effect on “work engagement and proactive behavior” the following day (Sonnentag 2003, p. 525). When we perceive ourselves to be failing at doing self-care, or it feels like a chore, negative feelings can linger with us for longer than it might take to actually perform the activity. For me this includes feeling stressed, exhausted, self-critical, and anxious.
When I consider the terms mindfulness and wellness I envisage Gwyneth Paltrow whispering into my ear telling me I need to buy her Goop crystal drinking straws. Even though I would probably not use this particular item, nor have I ever considered that I might need it (other than to reduce plastic waste), I pause for a second to ask myself: “will this contribute to my wellness?” and “could this help me to be more mindful?” as this item is listed under ‘wellness’, after all. Wellness is an “active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life” (UCDAVIS 2020), which is more complex than just being in good health. With reference to Gwyneth’s crystal drinking straws again, the associations between the straws themselves and the potential wellness they could provide me are somewhat unclear. Yet wellness can be thought of as a continuum between mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and social health (see Global Wellness Institute for further information). So for some people, in some way, the straws might act as a tool or an enhancement to being mindful in their everyday. Similarly, mindfulness is the act of “maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens” (UCBERKELY 2020).
How are these terms related to feeling burnt-out?
Burnout is a term usually associated with occupation and with feelings of “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” (WHO 2020), but what happens when we feel stressed at the prospect of treating our work-related burnout with self-care? For me the burnt-out sensation comes from feeling overwhelmed by online content that not-so-subtly makes me think I should be doing certain kinds of self-care activities, more often. Many of us have already made the connections between the commodification of self-care on Instagram (and other platforms) and the negative flow-on effects this might have on our happiness. Fellow OWP member Kristin perfectly reflects my thoughts on this in saying:
“Could it be that Instagram is one of the reasons we need a Self Care Sunday routine to follow?... Social Media (especially Instagram) is absolutely obliterating our self esteem, ability to switch off, and individuality” (Kristin Perissinotto, RARA 2020).
The ‘Instagram marketplace’ is a term I use to describe the influx of advertisements that I see daily on my newsfeed and the opportunities that companies, businesses, and advertisers have to sway me into buying a product, a service, an idea or lifestyle. Even though we may be more aware than ever about the mental health implications of these mixed personal/ commercial online marketplaces, it still feels too easy to compare ourselves to others. We must remind ourselves that “self-care is not a consumer behaviour, requiring Instagram filters or purchasing things” (Human Psychology 2020), and having these quick fix, self-soothing, or distraction mindsets are not sufficient replacements to working through our deep-rooted issues.
If you would like to discuss anything mentioned here please don’t hesitate to send me a message at b.gibbs@onewomanproject.org, or connect with the wonderful OWP Team on Facebook and Instagram (‘One Woman Project’).
Reading List + References
Ayoub, Sarah 2019, ‘I can’t explain millennial burnout to my mother’, SBS, https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/voices/culture/article/2019/04/08/i-cant-explain-millennial-burnout-my-mother
Dean, Tim 2015, ‘Does pursuing health make us less happy?’, New Philosopher, vol. 7, pp. 84-87.
Goop, Rose quartz crystal straw, https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/rose-quartz-crystal-straw?country=USA
Gormley, Elena 2019, ‘Anti-Semitism is the Reason for My Millennial Burnout’, alma, https://www.heyalma.com/anti-semitism-is-the-reason-for-my-millennial-burnout/
Havlin, Laura 2019, ‘Is your self-care practice fuelling your burnout?’, Dazed Beauty, https://www.dazeddigital.com/beauty/soul/article/44713/1/self-care-practice-fuelling-burnout-capitalism
Human Psychology 2020, ‘Self-care is not taking a nice bath’, https://humanpsychology.com.au/self-care-is-not-taking-a-nice-bath/
Perissinotto, Kristin 2020, RARA Magazine, ‘Self care in the digital age’, One Woman Project, https://www.onewomanproject.org/shop/rara1
Prokop, Jan 2020, Instagram user demographics in Australia- March 202 UPDATE, NapoleonCat, https://napoleoncat.com/blog/instagram-users-in-australia/
Ruiz, Rebecca 2019, ‘Our best bet against burnout is self-care, just not the kind you think’, Mashable, https://mashable.com/article/burnout-treatment/
Sekaram, Sharanya 2018, ‘The politics of self care and femininsm’, GenderIT.ORG, https://www.genderit.org/feminist-talk/politics-self-care-and-feminism
Sonnentag, S 2003, ‘Recovery, Work Engagement, and Proactive Behavior: A New Look at the Interface Between Nonwork and Work’, Journal of Applied Psychology, vol. 88, no. 3, pp. 518-528.
The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkely 2020, ‘What is mindfulness?’, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
University of California, Davis, ‘What is wellness?’, https://shcs.ucdavis.edu/wellness/what-is-wellness
University of Queensland Art Museum 2020, ‘We need to talk about…Self-care in times of extreme stress’, https://www.facebook.com/uqartmuseum/posts/3600368293322868
University of Queensland 2018, ‘Groups2Connect’, https://uqpsych.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cVoO38bnfl8x8YB?source=uqpsych&Q_JFE=qdg
World Health Organization (WHO) 2020, ‘Burn-out an “occupational phenomenon”: International Classification of Diseases’, https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-out/en/